Welcome to the long, long, long-awaited Tickled Tarot: Playground Edition! Each week, I’ll post one warped card from the Major Arcana.
This week: The High Priestess, aka The Teacher.
The High Priestess is a lot like your favorite elementary school teacher, Miss Boodle, who gave you gold stars for knowing all the right answers, took you on field trips to George Lucas’ house and thought your baking soda/vinegar volcano was sheer genius. Get this teacher at the right time in the spread, like when she’s fresh out of college, and you’ll learn so much, you’ll be dedicating speeches, awards and Facebook pages to her when you’re 30. When she’s shiny, new and full of optimism, stuffing facts into your sugar-addled brain is as fun as those ‘SchoolHouse Rock’ spots always said it could be. If you caught Miss Boodle as you began puberty, you may have learned other things as well, like how magical low-cut blouses and dropped pencils could be. So magical, in fact, that your parents had you tested for rare diseases because you couldn’t hold on to anything during her class.
Reverse this card in a spread, however, and you’ll remember Mrs. Whackananny, the instructor who taught you how fast a ruler could blister through the air on its way to meet your rear end. She was the teacher who believed little Mindy Snotnose who said you fed bubble gum to the class rabbit and made you clean up two weeks of pink bunny butt bubbles filled with nasty surprises. It wasn’t even your fault, it was Jason’s, but she didn’t believe you. She also never gave back your Superman comic book at the end of the year, and now it’s worth a fortune. You wouldn’t look her up on Facebook even if she was the only person alive who could help you harvest your FarmVille crops. OK, you might, but you wouldn’t enjoy it. The only thing Mrs. Whackananny teaches you in a Tarot spread is how to count down to your next good week, year or decade.