Aries: You’re so lucky on Tuesday, you’re like lightning in a bottle. Remember to say ‘excuse me’ after a big thunderclap, and sit next to a fan to keep yourself aired out.
Taurus: Consulting the voices in your head doesn’t count as an official second opinion. Talk to some actual, live people before making your big decision, and let the inner grumps do what they do best: argue over contestants on ‘America’s Got Talent.’
Gemini: Some people take the bullet train to success, but you’re riding a Roomba. Quit bouncing off walls; step outside and find your own way to the top. That jetpack under the oak tree looks nice.
Cancer: Change is more than what you dig out of the couch when your wallet is empty; sometimes it’s just the thing for shaking up your dull, staid existence. Get your hands out of your own cushions and grab some new experiences.
Leo: On Wednesday, you’re the car battery of inspiration: anyone standing close to you will get a jolt of ingenuity. It’s great to see everyone off and running, just remember to keep a few sparks for yourself so you won’t run down.
Virgo: You think up the perfect money-making scheme Thursday night, but it was all a dream. Take some naps until you find it again, because that idea is just bizarre enough to work in 2018.
Libra: Usually you love being in the driver’s seat of life, but lately you’re tired, your butt is numb and someone keeps changing your radio station. Let someone else take over for a while, and just enjoy the scenery of endless cornfields and Subway restaurants.
Scorpio: Just when you’ve finally figured out roller skates, everyone’s using hoverboards. Show them all up and whip out that solar-powered flying carpet in your closet. You’ll be the envy of the neighborhood, until they realize you can see over the fences.
Sagittarius: Have a smile for an umbrella this week, and while you’re at it, use a guffaw for your rain boots and a hearty snort as your hat. But please, wear actual pants. It’s going to be weird enough with you sloshing around, no one needs to see your Batman undies too.
Capricorn: Feeling listless and unimaginative? Go stand next to a Leo for a few minutes. That jump start will zap you into shape, and the smell of singed hair will fade away after a few days.
Aquarius: You’re crankier than an aardvark with a headcold this week. Hang out in the sauna for a while. Not only will it clear your head, it will keep you out of the way until your mood improves.
Pisces: You think you’re trapped in a canyon, but in reality you’re only stuck in a rut. No need for climbing gear, just lift your left foot a little higher and step out. You’re still entitled to a victory dance once you’re out, of course.
Leave a comment
Comments feed for this article