Aries: Someone is being snarky and waiting for the other shoe to drop, but you’ll get the jump on them if you just take off your shoe and fling it in their direction. If you really want to get even, take off your socks and air out those tootsies, too.

Taurus: Forget ambition; the early bird gets the worm, but the bird who sleeps in has pizza delivered. That beats worms any day, and it explains why robins are so cheerful and chubby.

Gemini: Ideas are bouncing around your head faster than cheerleaders on espresso. Jot down some notes before the caffeine wears off, and you’ll have grounds for success.

Cancer: Sometimes you don’t have to be the fastest runner to win the race, you just have to know where all the potholes are. Forget reaching for the stars, keep an eye on the course so you have a clue where you’re going.

Leo: If life is a video game,then you know all the cool cheat codes. Use them on Tuesday, and gain some extra points with the boss. Do it again on Wednesday, and you’ll level up.

Virgo: If you sense a bright spot in your day, there’s probably someone above you with a magnifying glass. Dodge the heat and run up their pants leg; no one ever expects the little guy to bite back.

Libra: You’ll have a perfect hair day on Tuesday, but no one will notice since your skirt will be tucked into your pantyhose for a few hours. On the bright side, you’ll have dates planned for the next two weeks.

Scorpio: Don’t concentrate on skin-deep looks. What truly counts is inner beauty, and yours could use a spa treatment and some exfoliation. Try those new kindness injections, they’re guaranteed to soften those hard lines.

Sagittarius: What happens when you burn a candle at both ends and in the middle? You get a blob of wax that someone has to scrape off the table. If you’re determined to have a meltdown, do it away from the nice furniture.

Capricorn: It takes time to heal from life’s hurts. If you can’t get back in the saddle, you can straddle a broom and make galloping sounds around the yard. It’s not Wild West-worthy , but it’s a start.

Aquarius: When others are at the end of their rope, they tie a knot and hang on. You whip out your phone and order a trampoline. Quit grasping at threads and get your bounce back.

Pisces: You’ve thought about climbing every mountain, but that sounds exhausting. Hike over the pile of dirty clothes in the laundry room instead; you’ll get some cardio, and you’ll find that blouse you’ve been missing for weeks.