Aries: You’re not the type to sulk, but your toes are swollen from kicking all the furniture. Go ahead and admit you’re wrong before you get rug burn on that pouty bottom lip. Apology is good for the soul and better for your injured body parts.

Taurus: There’s no time like the present to accomplish your goal, unless you have a time machine. If so, you have all the time you want and the ultimate project to take on Shark Tank. Hello, money!

Gemini: Doubt roars into your mind like a drunk grizzly bear in a bikini. Either play dead until it’s gone, or tell it that you’d love to take its Tinder photo and run away while it’s choosing the perfect filter.

Cancer: Knowing what you want is fine, but getting it will be the tough part. Try to oil the wheels of progress with cash, chocolate or beer. If that doesn’t work, time to give up those Hamilton tickets.

Leo: Relax. The only one expecting perfection is you, and that’s a trick no one can pull off. Put up your feet, let your hair down and barricade your door so no one sees your one weird beauty trick.

Virgo: You know what you did, now how can you make it right? You could bring flowers, but go the extra mile and do that thing with the coconut oil and sparklers. Your sweetie will give you a big hug as soon as the flames die out.

Libra: Tuesday is so bright and shiny, you hate to take the plastic wrap off. Go ahead, it becomes even better when you play with it, and it doesn’t even need batteries.

Scorpio: You won’t find your soulmate at the bar on Saturday night, but you might find them at the pizza joint. If they offer you the last garlic knot, you’ll know they’re a keeper.

Sagittarius: Work stress is turning you into a supervillain, ad you’re one clown short of an evil army. Pick Marjorie in HR, she probably knows her way around exploding red noses and volcano lairs.

Capricorn: Stubborn may not be your middle name, but it’s definitely written in the birthmark on your left foot. If you hold your ground this time, though, you won’t have a free hand to catch a passing opportunity.

Aquarius: Usually when your stars align, they spell out ‘tough luck.’ On Friday, there’s a new message in your celestial inbox and for once, the Universe isn’t cursing at you.

Pisces: You want to be a gorgeous peacock, but you feel more like a plucked chicken. Be brave; someone thinks you have beautiful plumage, and that’s a feather in your cap.

 

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