Aries: You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can totally trash talk the movie based on it. Before you loosen those lips, though, rip out a few pages and make sure you have the story straight.
Taurus: Passion burns, but so does a pot left on the stove. Don’t grab anything without using protection, otherwise you’ll have some explaining to do in front of a chuckling ER nurse.
Gemini: Right now, opportunities are like flowers and you have your pick. Sniff a few and check for bees hiding on the stems, otherwise you may get stung.
Cancer: Spread some joy across your day on Wednesday. Sure, others may see it as manure, but it will still make things grow because you only spew high quality crap.
Leo: Quick, the universe isn’t looking: do what you want. It’s fine to ask forgiveness rather than permission, but it’s even better if that gamble pays off and you don’t have to ask for anything at all.
Virgo: The shortest distance between two points isn’t a line, it’s a piece of juicy gossip. That stuff flies at the speed of light, so step out of the way before it whacks you on the head. It’s better to be conscious when you do damage control.
Libra: Beauty may be skin-deep, but not yours. You have a particularly voluptuous soul, too, so expect a few enlightened beings to follow you home when they see how your aura swings when you walk.
Scorpio: You’re making a mountain out of a mole hill, so do the job right. Get the moles to sign off on the blueprints and make sure you have all the construction permits. Your clients will thank you when they see your mole condo masterpiece.
Sagittarius: Thursday looks like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but when you get closer you realize it’s just a really shaggy sheep. Give that baa-by a makeover and reveal a whole new ewe.
Capricorn: You can soar to great heights, but first you have to drop that baggage. There’s no overhead compartment on the Success Express, but don’t worry; you get a complimentary toothbrush when you hit Easy Street.
Aquarius: If you pull yourself up by your bootstraps, you’re still bending over. Watch your back and prepare to mule kick someone sneaking up on you. Good thing you’re wearing those butt-kicking boots.
Pisces: Sometimes a great idea is like a ghost; you only see it out of the corner of your eye. Pull up your inner Venkman and do some ghostbusting this week, so you can confront and conquer that spectral inspiration before it gets away again.