Aries: So-called friends may bail on you this Friday, leaving you holding the bag. Don’t worry, it just means more apple pies and fries for you, and less dead weight in your life.

Taurus: Why worry about the sun melting your wings when you’re still in the closet fighting the moths? Jump out there and stretch those flappers; it’s easier to get off the ground when you can see the sky.

Gemini: Unlike beef stew and cottage cheese, your dreams don’t have an expiration date, so why are you tossing them into the recycle bin? Dust them off and check for mold; you may have been storing your greatest achievements next to the brown lettuce all this time.

Cancer: Ideas are like children: bring them up right and you’ll have something to be proud of; let them run wild and they’ll ruin your carpet. Your imagination is currently swinging from the streetlight, so a time out is probably in order.

Leo: You don’t have to scale every mountain, some peaks are just meant to look good on postcards. Give your Sherpa a break and admire the scenery instead of trampling it.

Virgo: The mysteries of life are heartfelt and complex, and it takes more than a Google search to solve them. You’ll need Google Maps as well. Remember, the road less traveled is usually buggy in the Beta version.

Libra: Your week is like a badly translated Chinese algebra problem; something’s not adding up. You can go to the board and show your work to the whole class, or just claim to invent a totally new brand of math.

Scorpio: The early bird isn’t up catch a worm, he’s waiting with a camera to see you on your Sunday morning walk of shame. Do your best strut in those rumpled clothes and never let ‘em know your underwear is inside out.

Sagittarius: Just as you wish upon a faraway star, someone may be looking to you for inspiration as well. Shine brightly and encourage everyone within your reach. They don’t have to know you’re just a hot ball of gas at home.

Capricorn: You think you have a situation all sewn up, but someone at work is about to pull a loose thread. Snip them off quick before they unravel your big plan.

Aquarius: Home may be where the heart is, but your heart could use a jog around the block. Kick that ticker off the couch and play in the sunshine; you’ll find the right beat soon enough.

Pisces: Summer’s almost over, and you haven’t found the great escape yet. Hang in there, Houdini, because you’re going to drop those chains, disappear into fun and wow your audience at the same time.

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