Aries: Not only have you put the cart before the horse, you don’t even remember which field you kept him in. Pull yourself together before Seabiscuit runs up your cable bill in the guest bedroom with pay-per-view horse shows.
Taurus: Every day is a gift, but some are the wrong size and others break before you can use them properly. You’ll have a brand new day tomorrow, but keep your receipt because there are no guarantees about its quality.
Gemini: Every new journey starts out with that first step. It’s the universe’s job to make it an adventure, but it’s your job to make sure that step isn’t straight off a cliff. You’re not Wile E. Coyote.
Cancer: Inner peace isn’t a lake you swim in, it’s more of a puddle you can dip a toe in occasionally. Only yogis get dogpaddling privileges, so appreciate those cool, splashy moments when you can.
Leo: Goals are great, but if you get too wrapped up in them, you forget how nice it is to just flap your wings and enjoy the breeze for a while. Pry yourself out of that duct tape cocoon you’ve built; you need a break.
Virgo: You’re seven pounds of sexy in a five-pound bag; the world can not contain you this week. Work that mojo and someone will jump in that sack with you.
Libra: On Friday night, you steal the show. On Saturday, the managers will kindly ask you to put it back. Better do what they say, they know jazz hands.
Scorpio: You’re feeling more driven than a limo on prom night. Rev that engine and enjoy the ride, because later you’ll be hosing angst and vomit off the upholstery.
Sagittarius: If you’re wondering who all these people are in your house, maybe you should take some time off and re-discover your family. Pack everyone up for a vacation week of small spaces, too much togetherness and overpriced food. That’ll bring the love out.
Capricorn: No one knows how much time we have on this earth, but you’ll end up with an egg timer instead of a grandfather clock if you keep thinking with your butt instead of your brain. Leave a few canyons unjumped on Friday.
Aquarius: You feel like you’re on the right track, but you haven’t seen a train yet. Quit pushing that handcar and buy a cheap ticket on the 5:00 Express, you’ll get there much faster.
Pisces: You can pick yourself up by your own bootstraps, but you look really funny walking that way. It’s okay to do a slow crawl toward your goal, just tell people you had a wild weekend.