Aries: Beauty is only skin-deep, but that’s fine for you since you swim in the shallow end of the personality pool anyway. Enjoy those compliments on Twitter, they will be the most meaningful conversations you have this week.

Taurus: You don’t expect life to be easy, but you would appreciate some hand rails along the muddy parts. Keep walking and you’ll make it through, just don’t try to take your Rascal scooter four-wheeling in the muck.

Gemini: Don’t worry about everything coming up roses; those suckers hurt and they’re such divas. Wish for everything to come up chamomile, coffee beans or even tomato plants. At least that would be useful.

Cancer: Some days you toss a coin into the wishing well, other days a weird Japanese ghost with long hair crawls out and chases you around. Life’s funny like that.

Leo: The universe has no problem kicking you when you’re down. If you grab its ankle, twist and sweep the other leg, it will think twice about doing it again. Sometimes you must make karma tap out before things go your way.

Virgo: You’ve lost your mojo, but retracing your steps around the house should help you find it again. Be prepared to wipe dog drool off it, though.

Libra: For every action there is a reaction, which means if you do something stupid on Tuesday, you’ll be knocked around like a pinball until the stupidity stops. Think twice before putting that so-called brilliant plan into action.

Scorpio: Everyone has a story, but your monologue is taking on Scheherazade-like proportions. Talk less, observe more and you’ll be ahead of the pack on Friday.

Sagittarius: The optimist in you says “the sky’s the limit,” but the realist in you knows that gravity works. Before you blast off, make sure you have enough energy to see your mission through to a safe landing.

Capricorn: If life hands you lemons, it’s probably just been to the farmer’s market. Take a bag and tag along next time, because life definitely knows how to get a good deal.

Aquarius: An idea has dropped into your mind like an errant seed from a distracted bird. Keep up your daily affirmations, because that’s enough to fertilize anything, and wait for something weird to bloom.

Pisces: Just when you get your sails up, a sudden storm blows you off course. Do what you must to survive, just don’t drink your own pee. This isn’t “Waterworld,” you’ll be back on track in no time.

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