Aries: You’re suspicious of good fortune without consequences. When the universe gives you a cookie this week, ask it to kick you in the shins, too, so you won’t be surprised later.
Taurus: Feel free to ignore the naysayers on Friday. You’re living in your own little world, but at least you have wi-fi and mail delivery there.
Gemini: Some people will be stunned to know you have a shell, let alone hide in it. Ignore them. Even social butterflies need a cocoon now and then, if only to host awesome house parties.
Cancer: Most people poke dragons with sharp sticks, but you have style. Go ahead, play Justin Bieber music at the dragon’s lair until he toasts you like a marshmallow at a Cub Scout campout. At least you’ll have a tan and a story.
Leo: You’ve been so busy lately, you haven’t had any spare time to think about how marvelous you truly are. Go ahead, take an evening for yourself with some candlelight, a bottle of wine and a mirror.
Virgo: On Tuesday, you’re like an Etch-A-Sketch shaken by a toddler. You know you’re capable of great art, but everything seems fuzzy and a little sticky at the moment.
Libra: Some are born to greatness, others have it thrust upon them. You just nicked it out of a recycling bin and dusted it off a bit. Go ahead, wear it; turns out greatness flatters those wide hips.
Scorpio: You can hand over your heart, wallet and self-respect, but nothing warms up your sweetie like being nice to their family. Go ahead, you can do it, even if it requires industrial-grade meds and a Buick-sized margarita.
Sagittarius: Sticks and stones may break your bones, but whips and chains can really chafe and leave marks. Use some padding if you’re into the rough stuff, otherwise your bank teller will give you a funny look.
Capricorn: It doesn’t take a genius to see where things are going in a situation. That’s good, because only you have noticed it so far. Feel free to step up and take some credit; none of your co-workers will be the wiser.
Aquarius: You may currently be as confused as a squirrel with a can of spray cheese, but all will be revealed when you finally grab the right nozzle.
Pisces: Not only do you get your groove back this week, but you’ve also found your mojo, swagger and style. Put them all in a safe place this time, somewhere the dog can’t reach. No one can use a chewed-up groove.