Aries: You’re not only about to cross a line, you’re ready to stomp on it, drag your butt up and down it and post pictures of everything on Facebook.  Before you loosen your belt and grab the camera, ponder who might be hurt by your actions. Or just by seeing your hairy rear on the Internet.

Taurus: You have accomplished so much, yet all you can do is whine about how much further you have to go. Look over your shoulder and see how far you’ve come. If that doesn’t work, knock someone off a scooter and ride the rest of the way.

Gemini: A burden has been lifted from you. Quick, look busy, because Nature abhors a vacuum, especially one with all the hoses and attachments.

Cancer:  An event will make you smile on Wednesday. It could be the first laugh of a baby or someone falling flat on their butt then jumping up and pretending nothing happened. Either way, bring a camcorder.

Leo: The universe provides what you need, especially when you continually send it e-mails and texts detailing your desires. Expect a generous bribe from Karma this week just to get you off her voicemail.

Virgo: Your hidden side shows through on Thursday. Will it be a peek of leather under that business suit or a quiet squeee over the last Harry Potter film? Keep your cool, if anyone saw your freak flag, they’re not pointing and screaming yet.

Libra: Smile, because you’ll be more popular than a case of prunes in a retirement center this week. Whatever happens, just go with the flow.

Scorpio: Your love life has taken over your days, and your problems are piling up outside the door. It’s hard to get something off your chest when it’s covered in whipped cream, but you need to try. OK, one more time, then try.

Sagittarius: You have the attention span of an addlepated gerbil, and running up and down the Internet tubes watching stupid videos isn’t helping. Hop on your wheel and get some work done.

Capricorn: Don’t stand there and tell the universe “What?” You know what you did wrong. Go make amends before Karma grounds you with extreme prejudice.

Aquarius: An opportunity is heading your way, and it will be sweeter than that time the school bully was chased by Dobermans. Yeah, that good, so be prepared.

Pisces: Somehow your life’s theme has grown from Shaggy’s “Zoinks!” to Spongebob’s “I’m ready!” It’s a good move, even if all your heroes are two-dimensional. You may be on to something with that. At least Patrick the starfish has never had a Twitter photo scandal.

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