Photo credit: Flickr: nrbelex

Since 2010 Dragon*Con is coming up soon, it’s the perfect time for some Klingon horoscopes. So pour some bloodwine, get comfy, and see what the week has in store!

Saturday: Today is a good day to die. Or to recite some love poetry. Either way, you could be screwed.

Sunday: Spend some time unwinding with fresh gagh and stale opera. No, there will not be any fighting for glory on this day, so don’t get your forehead in a bunch; this week will challenge you quite well.

Monday: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Expect to gain much strength in line at the DMV today.

Tuesday: Your foe will challenge your authority over the photocopier. Sharpen your bat’leth and prepare for battle.

Wednesday: A date night goes wrong when you and your mate have different definitions of ‘polishing the torpedo.’ Not everyone has a strict weapons maintenance schedule like you, so make up by breaking a few walls together.

Thursday: You see an opportunity for advancement, but be warned: the Klingon way of promotion is only approved on this world for bankers, lawyers and politicians. And extremely annoying celebrities.

Friday: Your friend requests on QaplaBook are piling up fast because everyone wants you around when the zombie apocalypse comes. They know that throwing zombies at a Klingon is like sticking a hot dog in a window fan. When it all goes down, keep your blades sharp and let the parts fly.