Weekly horoscopes for August 4

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Aries: Why so blue? You’re usually seeing red by now. Sure, you may go off half-cocked and a third-informed, but your firecracker style lights up the sky more often than blowing up in your face. You’re at your fiery best in Wile E. Coyote mode: the explosions don’t hurt anyone else, and you bounce back, accordion-style.

Taurus: Be careful over the next few days; someone wants to take the bull by the horns, and they’re eyeing you. You may have to step back and tell someone you don’t swing that way. If they don’t get the message, give them a courtesy kick in the breadbasket.

Gemini: The ‘perky’ strand of your DNA has kicked into overdrive this week, so here are some things to remember: there are ten million ‘I Hate Mondays’ mugs for a reason, no one likes to talk about their flair, and you can’t put Baby in a corner. There, that should keep you from getting punched until you settle down.

Cancer: Being a homebody is one thing, but the only calls you’ve made lately are for the current time and temperature. Grab a friend and head out for adventure before you knit yourself to the couch. You’ll be back before the houseplants know you’re gone.

Leo: Are people taking your incredibleness for granted? Remind them that you may be bright, but you’re not just another fuzzy star in the sky. After a few dark days, they’ll appreciate basking in your light. Resist the temptation to give them all peely, flaky sunburns, though.

Virgo: Take all the notes you want; life doesn’t have a logical lesson plan. It’s filled with pop quizzes on subjects you didn’t study, and, more than a few times, you’ll end up naked in the classroom. Try to learn with your heart, not your notebook.

Libra: Something really great is coming your way…aw, you missed it. Wait a minute, it’s making a U-turn….rats, you were looking the other direction. Hang on, it’s gearing up for a third pass, you lucky thing, so stay sharp!

Scorpio: You’re giving someone that warm, tingly gaze…and nothing happens. Don’t worry, your mojo isn’t gone for good, it’s just taking a breather. Watch a few James Bond movies to lure it back to its rightful place: the center of your personal space.

Sagittarius: Skeptical? You’ve been there, done that, and sold the T-shirt to some sucker for twice the price. Use that critical eye at work tomorrow, and you could be up for a raise. Or a lawsuit.

Capricorn: Icy drinks with umbrellas, a cheap novel at your side, and no computer in front of you; this may sound scary to the hard-driven goat, but it’s called re-lax-ation. Say it with me. Try it out, you might like it.

Aquarius: You’re creative, fun, and carefree; no wonder you have more groupies than Hannah Montana at a free concert. Enjoy your time as a guru, before someone spikes the Kool-Aid and ruins the buzz.

Pisces: Miracles are afoot this week, and thank goodness they wear your shoe size. You’ve been working very hard lately, so leave those steel-toed boots by your bed for the kindly elves to fill. You’ll giggle with delight come morning.

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