Weekly horoscope for July 28

Aries: Ever read a book and think, ‘this story is way too simple?’ Well, whip out that library card, because your personal plotline is about to go from ‘Goodnight Moon’ to ‘DaVinci Code.’ Ooh, wait until you see the plot twist!

Taurus: You love to study people, but some of your experiments are about to go awry, Dr. Frankenstein. Quit messing with people’s heads, or you’ll have to hide when an angry mob storms the castle.

Gemini: Someone is sending you signals, but you never learned Morse Code, did you? Brush up quick and reply, or a good thing will think no one’s home in the lighthouse, and sail on to fresher waters.

Cancer: You’ve found a spot in life where you’re actually happy, and you radiate a warm glow that people can read by in the dark. Enjoy it, and don’t let anyone take away your night light just because their bulbs are burned out.

Leo: Happy Birthday to the King of the Beasts! The universe has some extra-special gifts for you this week, and they’re all rip-roaring good. So shake that mane, give us a smile, and enjoy these moments in the sun.

Virgo: Lately, you’ve been getting random signs that feel like spam in your emotional inbox. Look closely, though: there’s a pattern, and the message has nothing to do with male enhancement or foreign lotteries.

Libra: Do you get high-speed internet up in that ivory tower? Otherwise, you would have noticed that it’s very lonely at the top. Close that laptop, and follow the stairs down to everyone else’s level. Truth be told, the people at the bottom are way more fun, and they know better jokes.

Scorpio: You’re so sharp, you’re always on the cutting edge of what’s cool. Slice off a hunk of hotness and jumpstart a pet project, but be careful or you’ll end up just another broken Ginsu knife in the drawer.

Sagittarius: Quit patching your road with good intentions, and start slapping down the asphalt of following your dreams. Mix in some worthy deeds to make it stick, and you won’t have to worry where the highway takes you.

Capricorn: It’s like someone spilled Diet Coke on your day planner this week. Monday’s a bit sticky, Tuesday’s fine, Wednesday’s all blurry, and the rest of the week has lint and an old Altoid firmly attached.

Aquarius: You’ve seen it all, so it takes something pretty bizarre to get your attention, and this week is happy to oblige. It will be like Cirque du Soleil meets Monty Python with a psychedelic soundtrack. If you lived through the Sixties, it might even look familiar, so walk right up and jump in.

Pisces: Some days you may feel like you get no respect, but take heart: there’s a town full of people who appreciate you. And if you’re lucky, they’ll leave you in peace for a few days before they appreciate you some more.

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