Weekly horoscope for July 21

Aries: Your bank account, ambition, and gas tank have been on empty for a while. Drag out that old business plan for solar-powered marital aids and let the sun shine in; your time has come!

Taurus: Yes, your do-it-yourself skills are formidable, and your frugal streak runs far and wide, but there are some things that self-help books can’t fix. Make a doctor’s appointment before something falls off.

Gemini: The treasure you seek is close, but the map is a mystery. Slap on an eyepatch and think like a pirate; you’ll be up to your hips in booty in no time. Arrrrrrrgh!

Cancer: Some days you’re the number one hit at the top of the charts; other days, you’re a K-tel collection of soft jazz. Put on your best Justin Timberlake attitude this week, and no one will know you feel like Kenny G inside.

Leo: Every day, you know you’re a star. This week, others realize the greatness in their midst, and roll out the red carpet. Head out to the spotlight and don’t look back, because we know you’ve already forgotten the little people.

Virgo: Lately you’ve been feeling like a paranoid yodeler before an avalanche; a song on your lips won’t stop the mountain from landing on you. Take some time for yourself, relax, and re-discover the mind-numbing effects of daytime television for a few days.

Libra: Charming? You could chat up a Buckingham Palace guard. Warm up your smile and put away that credit card, because smooth talking is going to open a lot of swanky doors for you this week.

Scorpio: You always know what you want, and seven ways to get it. On Thursday, take the scenic route to your desires, and you won’t be disappointed. If you are disappointed, well hey, no refunds.

Sagittarius: You’re long past believing in unicorns and fairies, but a dream from your childhood comes true this week. Cherish it for the miracle it is, and resist the temptation to slap it up on eBay for a quick buck.

Capricorn: You’ve just had your own full moon, what more do you want? Okay, this week is looking pretty sweet for you; keep your hand in the candy dish for one more round. You’re getting one more freebie from the universe, so no pouting.

Aquarius: The trouble with off-roading down the path less taken is that there are very few 7-11 stores along the way. Keep an eye on civilization as you explore the wilder side of human potential, or you could end up lost in a tattooed sea of Barry Manilow fans and no Porta-Potty.

Pisces: It’s a feeding frenzy this week, because everyone wants a piece of you. Before you cave under the pressure, make sure you’re in demand for your skills, and not because a bigger fish just wants to eat you for lunch.

Advertisements