People have believed in the power of the stars for millennia, ever since Oog shook his fist at the sky when a giant carnivorous frog ate his foot. Naysayers have also been around just as long, from the moment Ugg watched Oog poke a sleeping frog with his toe, rolling his eyes as Oog blamed the stars for his misfortune. (Little did Ugg know that Mercury was actually in retrograde, making the frog unusually cranky.)

Great minds of science have insisted that the movement of planets light-years away has absolutely no connection to your flat tire and missed meeting this morning, but we know better. One of the greatest minds to come along in two years, Stephen Colbert, summed it up best: “Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything….what is important? What you want to be true or what is true?”

Truthiness, Colbert’s contribution to the modern language, represents going with your gut rather than your head. And why not trust your gut when it comes to astrology? A three-line prediction of your personal future on a website or in a newspaper can be just as sure a bet as working hard your whole life and investing your retirement fund in Enron or Bear Stearns. Sometimes those vague peeks into the yet-to-be are spot on, and just the boost you need to get through your day. Other times, not so much. Luckily, the stars can be fickle, so no humans need be blamed for giving you a bad interpretation. Which is why Oog snorted when Ugg said, “Hey, it’s just a big streak of fire screaming across the sky. It’s not like it’ll kill all the dinosaurs or anything.”

What, you say? Cavemen and dinosaurs didn’t exist together? Maybe not in your truthiness…but if you mention it to Oog, he’ll hit you with his cane.

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